You MIGHT be a patch collector if... :-D

There are those people, who would gladly make this (left) award, the HIGHEST award possible FOR a patch collector to ever earn. We are however, not without our own charms and merits; namely, we all (usually...) have a GREAT sense of humor. To wit, I present you a Top 10 list that you'll NEVER find on Letterman. It is, the Top 10 ways to tell, you might be a patch collector (or, more precisely, how you may have gone OVERBOARD, as a patch collector);

10. If you've ever postponed paying a utility bill, in order to acquire a patch!

9. If you've ever watered down milk or baby food, in order to cover for a patch's expense!

8. If you've ever traded a gun, compound bow, or ammunition, for a patch!

7. If you've ever played a pickup game of (INSERT FAVORITE SPORT), and instead of 'shirts & skins,' you want to be, 'twills & solids.'

6. If your children (or spouse!) were born before 1976, you've EVER referred to them as, "Pre-FDL."

5. If a patch dealer has ever memorized your Visa card number.

4. If you've ever replaced your mother-in-law's phone number on the speed dialer, with your favorite patch dealer's order line number.

3. When you drive down the interstate, you begin naming Lodges - ALL the Lodges - that ever had the number of each mile marker you pass... and you get them all right... throughout the ENTIRE trip...

2. Your girlfriend/wife asks you, "How does this new dress look," and you respond - "Computer-designed, cheap Asian embroidery, twill right medium."

1. And the number ONE way, to tell that YOU are a patch collector IS... if you've EVER mailed a thousand dollar patch, in a bubble mailer that's been reused at least twice!

Ta da.


Bob McCanless
Pittsburgh

p.s. - Uhhh... not that I've ever done ANY of these, mind you... :-P